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Change Blessings

9/18/2017

6 Comments

 
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As the seasons change, so do our lives. Expectedly, unexpectedly...things change.

It’s so difficult when you lose or have to leave a relationship because of death, some other type of loss, distance, separation or conflict, and then, on top of the loss, be challenged with having to turn your cleaving to someone or something else. This can be a very challenging time. I know this by experience.

After years of having a multitude of stable relationships, whether through girlfriends, family, workmates, healthcare practitioners, or spiritual leaders, I then suffered 20 years of significant continual loss. I never knew that I shouldn’t be taking all of those steady relationships for granted -- that everything could change so drastically. 
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When I buried two of my closest friends back to back, a primary care physician said to me, “You now have the very difficult task of developing new relationships.” It was one of the most real things that a clinician said to me during that time. It wasn’t easy to hear, however, I knew it was true.

Now, I have yet another relationship threatened very unexpectedly. I see that I have to cleave to new sources of support. So, instead of focusing over and over again on the uncertainty of this relationship, which has been very available and supportive during the last year, I need to shift. Shifting can be difficult, infuriating, unsettling, saddening (is that a word?), and strangely...hopeful.

So I am shifting to what I have always shifted to through all of these losses and transitions, which is “Wow, I wonder how God will bless me now? I wonder what blessings will come from this change? I wonder how things will get better as a result of this shift?"

The one thing that I have learned with certainty through all of this change is that I am always, always blessed in the tragedy or as a result of the change. Always. I call them Change Blessings. Unfortunately, those blessings may not arrive right away – I wish they did – but they do eventually arrive.

I started playing a game yesterday in my mind, which was to think about my life as it was before the staggering loss and pretend that I was that person then. It was amazing how helpful it was. I could feel all of the support that I had then and felt like I could move forward with confidence! I am going to keep trying this. Shifting and living “as if”. I will write another blog soon about "living as if" -- a powerful life tool. 

Remember, if you are experiencing loss or change...blessings are on the way! Look to find them...

What helps you shift or give you hope when life throws you a curve ball, a change you didn't expect or welcome? Would love to hear your beautiful words of advice in the comments section below. 
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Love,
Blessed

6 Comments
Lisa
9/18/2017 04:16:20 pm

Wow! Another gem.
Change is trrrfying. And exhilarating. Depends on whether it is your choice or not. To choose it is to feel freedom- a new beginning, a fresh start. Goodbye to the old, Hello to the new( and better) life!
To choose change is to be the caterpillar that emerges from the chrysalis and holy crap! He can fly!!
To have change forced upon you is a terrible and terrifying thing. You cannot go a minute without something reminding you of the loss. It is unbearable.
My coping mechanism when change is forced on me is to make it more drastic, by choosing to make the change even bigger than necessary.
Lose a job? Get a new one- in a different city- and get a drastic haircut and start eating Indian food every day. Make your new life so different that you don't see the hole left behind by your loss. Shed your old skin. Become a butterfly and never look back

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Blessed
9/18/2017 06:01:20 pm

I love love the get a new haircut eat Indian food every day...I really think there is something to what you are saying...instead of resisting the change, dive in with your whole heart! Thanks for sharing!!! You made me laugh!!

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ROBIN STAR link
9/19/2017 04:17:00 am

Jane, your writings always inspire deeper thought and I so appreciate your calm amidst the storms. Thank you for sharing your earthly journey!

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Blessed
9/19/2017 07:15:18 am

Aww thank you so much Robin for tuning in and your comments!! 😊💕

Reply
Ann
9/21/2017 12:56:18 am

I appreciate the invitation to depth and intimacy your blog offers.

I've been playing with "as-if" from a slightly different angle- resonating how I want to feel before I start my day. . Esther and Jerry Hicks originally inspired me with this idea in their book, "The Astonishing Power of Emotions". I am astounded by the wonderful surprises in resonating "satisfaction" and "wellbeing".

"As-if" games appear to be powerful help for getting into the present by getting around thoughts and beliefs of how it's been or always going to be:)

Happy World Gratitude Day!

Reply
Blessed
9/22/2017 05:16:21 am

Ahh...resonating satisfaction and wellbeing...sounds like a great idea!! Happy world gratitude day DGGU!!

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